Getting Fired Might Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You.

How Unexpected Endings Can Lead You Back to Yourself

Losing a job can feel devastating. It can shake your confidence, your identity, and your sense of security. But what if getting fired wasn't the end of your story? What if it was the beginning of something far more aligned?

In this episode of The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser, Erin McQuade-Wright shares her own experiences of both being fired and having to let others go, exploring why the career endings we resist can sometimes become the greatest gifts of our lives.

Together, we'll unpack the fear that keeps us holding on long after we've outgrown a role, why some of us are wired to stay longer than we should, and how unexpected transitions create an opportunity to reconnect with who we really are and the work we're here to do.

Along the way, Erin references the astrological concept of Fixed signs—one of the three zodiac modalities—as a metaphor for loyalty, perseverance, and the tendency to resist change. If you're curious about the differences between Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable signs, The Old Farmer's Almanac offers a helpful overview of these personality modalities: https://www.almanac.com/cardinal-fixed-mutable-cardinal-signs. In astrology, Cardinal signs tend to initiate, Fixed signs sustain and stabilize, and Mutable signs adapt and embrace change. While astrology isn't the focus of this episode, it's a useful lens for understanding why some of us naturally cling to the familiar while others are more comfortable embracing change.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why getting fired doesn't define your worth—it can create space for something more authentic.
• How fear quietly keeps us in jobs we've already outgrown.
• The questions to ask yourself after an unexpected career ending.
• How work can become a distraction from your deeper purpose.
• Why life's biggest disruptions often become the catalyst for your greatest growth.

If you're navigating a layoff, career transition, or simply wondering whether it's time for a change, this episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and trust that endings often make room for beginnings we couldn't yet imagine.

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Transcript

Erin McQuade-Wright 1:33

Welcome to The Brave and Balanced Fundraiser, the podcast I wish I'd had during my 15 years as a professional fundraiser. I'm your host, Erin McQuade Wright. This is your space to breathe, realign, and reconnect with the part of you that chose this work for a reason. Together, we'll explore tools and practices that help you show up less stressed and spread thin and more grounded, brave, and on purpose. I'm so glad you're here. Let's get started Hello, friends. I'm gonna talk about something controversial today. I'm gonna talk about getting fired. I'm talking about getting fired, and how that can be the best thing in the world that could happen to you I'm laughing at myself because I've been the firer, I have been the fired, I have been the one who believes it's the worst thing in the world, and I've believed that it's the best thing in the world. So let's get into it. Let's explore it. How can you use the fact that you've gotten fired to your advantage? I don't know about you, but I have the ability to hold on in a bad situation And this has its advantages and it has its disadvantages I gained a reputation for being a very loyal person, for being a steady person, and also for being fixed. In the horoscope, there are different signs that are called mutable, they're changing signs, and there are signs that are called fixed. I studied this some years ago, so I'm not the expert, but you can look this up. I'm a Scorpio. Scorpio is a fixed sign. And in my career, I have had many different glimmers of the fixed that shows up, that show up in my, how I do my work. One way that fixed shows up for me is I'm one of those people that can really stick to a routine. I can adopt a new routine in my life and stick with it. My husband goes to the gym. He knows that his best chance of being dedicated and steady about it is to go to this place where the workout happens, and once he gets there, he's like, "All right. I made it to the parking lot. I'm gonna go in, and I'm... Once I'm in, I'm gonna do my workout." I'm one of those kind of weird people who can work out at home. I work out with a YouTube lady, and that's not a problem for me. I am dedicated and faithful, and I have, um, a, a devotional sort of quality to my character that allows me to steadily work out at home. Every other day, I'm in front of the TV, and I'm doing what the lady says to do, right? That can be a real advantage when you are coming back to work that is bigger than something that you can get done in a day, right? You come back. You keep coming back. You're steady. You're reliable. You show up, and you do the thing. But it can be a real disadvantage when change needs to happen, and you know that change needs to happen, and you're like, "Nope. I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do what I've been doing instead." And it b- can become like a hardening of stance. It can become like f- arms crossed, digging in, "No." And I've experienced that in my career as well. And, you know, I think I took to an extreme the idea that about leaving a job, don't run from something. Run to something that you care more about. Like, have an opportunity in mind that you really are excited about doing, and make that the reason you leave rather than being chased out or something, um, negative like that So rather than explore what I would really like to do, what would get me excited, what would make me... what would ignite my curiosity and my passion, I instead, as a, you know, a fixed sign, sort of crossed my arms and sank down and said, "No." I once had a body worker working on my fascia, and she was explaining this idea of, you know, when we get really good at dissociating, we get really good at sort of hopping out of our body and not being present in our body in the present moment. I don't know if this is a trauma-related thing for, for most people. For me, it was a sort of I could get lost in my imagination and sort of lost in my thoughts and would be sort of floating above my body. Now, physically, my body was still here on Earth. But energetically, I was floating somewhere up above my body. I was not really present. And this body worker, her name is Kitty, she said, "I want you to picture yourself as you walk. I want you to send intentionally, send your energy down through your feet as if you are like a giant stomping through a village. Like really feel the power of your feet, making contact with the ground. Give yourself some weight as you walk And she said she likened it to a little kid. When you go to pick them up and they don't wanna be picked up, they can make themselves kinda like a rock. They can make themselves heavy, like they're heavy to pick up, rather than like when they wanna come into your arms and they sort of leap up and help you. It's this energy of sinking into gravity. And I have employed that energy in the workplace, and baby, let me tell you something. When you're doing that, sort of sinking down, crossing your arms, being like, "No, I'm not gonna leave," you are not in a good place, my love. You are not in a good place. That cannot end well. And sometimes it meant that I took my sweet time and said-- told myself stories about they're not gonna chase me out and whatever, blah, blah, blah, and sometimes I got fired, and it was like, "Oh, that was quick." Either way, you find yourself on the other side of the situation, and for me, 100% of the time, it's like, why was I waiting? Why was I so afraid of change? Why did I wait so long to experience this relief of being in a place where I get to determine what I do? I get to feel into what is exciting to me, what is inspiring to me, and go chase that. And fear plays a big role in it when we're afraid to leave. I was just telling a story to a, a group that I'm in I worked with someone who had been working with the organization for a really long time, and one day she announced her retirement, and we celebrated her. She had done great work building up the organization. We celebrated her. We thanked her for all that she had brought. And there was a week or two that passed, and her energy was different, and she had become kind of like the toddler who was making themselves heavy from being picked up. She changed her mind. Bless her. She changed her mind. She didn't wanna go. She was having a really hard time with it, and what I realized is that fear had taken the driver's seat. She was afraid she was gonna run out of money, and she had confided that in me. And it was really palpable how different the environment was around her because she had been this celebrated person who had gotten this standing ovation and then did not take her exit. She did not exit the stage. She became afraid to exit the stage, and so she started equivocating and doing all these things to slow down her off-ramp. And in the end, she did leave, but it was much more awkward than it would've been had she stuck by her original decision and just made the leap. And that's so human, right? We are afraid to make a leap, and I have definitely been the one at the ledge going, "Oh, what am I thinking? Can I do this? Should I do this? Maybe I can turn back. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I can just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," and running with my fear, driving the bus of my life. And what I wanna explore with you today is how getting kicked out of the nest, how getting kicked off the edge of the ledge can be a real blessing. Number one, you are not having to make that decision anymore. It's being made for you. Hello. You're out. It's no longer a question of whether you're leaving. You're leaving And for me, it was a real-- every time I left an organization, whether on great terms for something exciting and new, or whether it was against my wishes, it was surprising to me how quickly people stopped calling, how quickly the tasks got done through someone else. Was like, "Oh." Every single time. It never ceased to surprise me. Oh, I'm, I'm that easily replaceable. We all are. But it's a real ego trip to see it happening around you. You haven't left yet, but water is finding its course. It's finding its way downhill. The tasks are finding their way to other hands, and they will get done And the greatest opportunity I see is to tune in to what is going i- on in the inside. And this is my, you know, if I have a, am ever accused of being a broken record, this is it. Use what comes up as a mirror to show you what is asking to be healed in you And so if it's a people-pleasing tendency, for example Now I don't have the people to please anymore. They are definitely, like, pleased or not, they are moving on without me. So the opportunity is mine to look at that people-pleasing tendency I have and determine whether I wanna upgrade that, if it's safe now to heal that, to move on from that pattern If I need, for example, something to push against, if I need an enemy to rail against and I'm using my bosses to say, "They don't get me. Here I am doing all this work, and they don't appreciate me." Once that boss is suddenly removed, it can feel like, oh, I, I don't have a person to rail against anymore. I was really using them. I really needed someone to rail against because it distracted me from the question that I was scared to answer, which is, what do I wanna do in the world? It was a lot easier to focus on, on what somebody was asking me to do, a task or a project that someone was asking me to do, and maybe I agreed with it, maybe I disagreed with it. Those distractions were so juicy for me because they kept me from the big real question which is: what's my purpose here? What is the work that is uniquely mine to bring forth into the world in this lifetime that is slipping so quickly through my fingers? That question felt too scary, but, uh, but being fired, separating from your organization, whether or not that was your choice, is a tremendous opportunity to, to, to look at these questions, to look at what comes up and how we've been using the job, how we've been using other people To keep us occupied, to keep us in a trance of the day-to-day, to keep us focused on things other than what we're here to bring forth in the world. So I just wanted to walk through some of those things with you today. And if you are in that position right now, if you have been fired, I am sending you the biggest hug. I know what that feels like, and I know a lot of people are going through that right now And my question to you, my challenge to you is, what can you learn from this? What is here that you're wanting to upgrade and say, "You know what? I don't wanna keep doing this anymore. I don't wanna keep doubting myself and trying to fit myself into a position that's smaller than who I actually am. I'm gonna take a bigger leap next time." What is the situation mirroring to you? That you can change, that you're ready and willing to change. That kind of opportunity is very hard to find in the day-to-day when things are going well because it's so easy to get seduced by the trance of I get up, I do my things, I go to work, I come home, I do my things, I go to sleep, I get up, I go to work, I do my things. Oh, it's the weekend. I do these things on the weekend. I go to sleep, I get up, I... When things are going well, life can slip by, and we can have decades of that without noticing, and there's no judgment in that But when things do not go well, when things come to a cataclysmic end, that is fertile ground, my friends. It is fertile ground to take a look at what's working and what's not. And so if you're in that position right now, I just wanna celebrate you for being in a time of your life that will not last forever, but is incredibly important if you are a seeker, if you are one who wants to grow, to find a bigger purpose, to make a pivot that is more authentic to who you are, to who you actually are, and who you wanna become. And if that's you, I'm here cheering you on. I am excited for you and how you're growing and changing, and just know that everything that we experience is temporary, even this moment. Okay, here are your takeaways from this episode. Number one, getting fired doesn't define your worth. It creates space to discover what truly does. Sometimes the ending we resist becomes the beginning we need. Number two, fear often keeps us in jobs we've already outgrown. When we stop letting fear make our decisions, new possibilities become visible. Number three, every career ending is an invitation to look inward. Instead of asking, "Why did this happen to me?" Ask, "What is this experience revealing about me?" Number four, our jobs can distract us from our deeper purpose. Losing one role can create the quiet that's necessary to reconnect us with the work that is uniquely ours to do. And number five, growth often begins where certainty ends. The most painful transitions can become fertile ground for becoming more authentic, courageous, and aligned. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thanks for being here. We'll see you next time