The Brave and Balanced Fundraiser

When Fundraising Becomes Your Identity, with Mallory Erickson

• Erin McQuade-Wright

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Why Stress, Comparison, and “Not Enough” Are Driving More Than You Think

In this conversation, Erin McQuade-Wright sits down with fundraising coach and What the Fundraising host Mallory Erickson to explore the inner dynamics that shape how fundraisers show up: comparison, visibility discomfort, nervous system dysregulation, and the quiet belief of “not enough.”

Together, they unpack the hidden cost of tying your identity to outcomes—and what it takes to create space between who you are and what you produce.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing well on paper but struggling internally, this episode will hit home.

In this episode, we cover:

  •  Why visibility can feel unsafe—even when you want to grow 
  •  The comparison trap and what it’s really about 
  •  How “not enough” quietly drives overperformance (and burnout) 
  •  What nervous system dysregulation actually feels like in real time 
  •  Practical ways to regulate before a donor conversation 
  •  The subtle ways fundraisers become attached to stress 
  •  How to separate your identity from fundraising outcomes 

Key Insight

You can’t control how a donor responds—but you can control how you show up. And that starts with your inner climate.

🔗 About Mallory Erickson

Mallory Erickson is the founder and CEO of Practivated, an executive coach, fundraising consultant, and host of the podcast What the Fundraising. She helps fundraisers move beyond transactional approaches to build lasting, mission-aligned partnerships.

Through her Power Partners Formula™, Mallory has trained over 60,000 fundraisers, blending executive coaching, behavior design, and strategic fundraising. Her book, What the Fundraising, explores how shifting away from scarcity leads to more sustainable and impactful fundraising.

🔗 Connect with Mallory

🔗 Connect with Erin

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Erin McQuade-Wright

Welcome to the Brave and Balanced Fundraiser, the podcast I wish I'd had during my 15 years as a professional fundraiser. I'm your host, Erin McQuade- Wright. This is your space to breathe, realign, and reconnect with a part of you that chose this work for a reason. Together we'll explore tools and practices that help you show up less stressed and spread thin and more grounded, brave, and on purpose. I'm so glad you're here. Let's get started. There's a moment that many fundraisers recognize, but rarely say out loud. The moment when the work stops feeling like something you do and starts feeling like who you are. Mallory Erickson is the founder and CEO of Practivated. She's an author, a fundraising coach, and the host of the podcast, what the Fundraising, her work focuses on helping fundraisers move beyond transactional approaches toward building more authentic, aligned relationships with donors. In this conversation, we're talking about what happens when fundraising identity and your nervous system all get tangled together, and how to start finding your way back to yourself. I hope you enjoy it. I am delighted to be here today with Mallory Erickson, podcaster extraordinaire. Mallory, thank you so much for being here. You know, one of the things that we have in common is that we were both frontline fundraisers who now find ourselves supporting people who do that work and finding a way. To do it more compassionately and more kindly. And you know, one of the things, because we're still works in progress ourselves and we're never arrived and at the place, at the destination. One of the things that's still alive for me is the level of visibility that comes with being a podcaster. My podcast is fairly new, but I haven't always been the one out front. I've gotten quite cozy being the one in the back corner, fundraising, nothing to see here. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, and I'm curious about what is still alive and unfolding for you? Hmm.

Mallory Erickson

Yeah. Well, I, first of all, thank you so much for having me, and I'm so excited to, to be here and to be talking to you. And, um, you know, I think I've, I am just starting to, um, to move through some of the emotions that you just said. But I also, when I started this business and the podcast, I hired a visibility coach, um, because I was very uncomfortable being. Um, visible and being, um, known and had been in my nonprofit leadership often, like in a number two role as a managing director or an executive director, but under like a strong visible board chair so that I could be behind the scenes making all the magic happen. Um, but you know, so I think it's a ever evolving process of getting comfortable in kind of different types of leadership. And I think I still feel very. Uncomfortable ever being called an expert or a thought leader or a, you know, and, and the other day, or an influencer. And I was saying something to my husband the other day, like, I need a new term because none of those really feel like me. And he was like, well, you do want to influence how people think about fundraising, don't you? And I was like, yeah, I guess that's true. But I think I feel uncomfortable. I still am really trying to find my, um, my. My like, you know, footing in, I just feel so driven around the work and the impact, and so I don't really love all the titles associPractivated with it. I'm like, well, I just wanna like change this and whatever role I have to play to do that, I guess I'll do that. But mostly I just wanna change this thing.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Yeah, that's beautiful. And I think a lot of people can really relate to that, especially in fundraising. And the reason I started this podcast is because I wanted to have a conversation like you do on your podcast about the inner work of fundraising. Mm-hmm. So my podcast doesn't. Focus on the money raised. That's an important part of it. But I felt like there were voices talking about that and I felt like we needed more voices talking about the inner game and what we get, for example, from being the number two person, like in the background, what we get from not being in the spotlight and not having a fancy title. And I think for me, one of the things I got was some safety. As long as I was just left of the spotlight, that felt more safe because I had a story that the spotlight meant scrutiny and judgment and that that was something that maybe I could survive and maybe I couldn't. Like it was literally like, it felt like life or death for me. And so that's the kind of thing that we get to dive into here really is the inner work of what we do when we. Raise money when we raise visibility, when we raise a conversation that's not being had in the, in the general, um, climate. And so I'm really excited. I see you as a, a fellow person who is working in this particular edge, and you recently wrote in a newsletter that you sent out about. A specific incident where you were finding jealousy and comparison showing up, and I think, oh man, this is so common. This is so relatable. And you were going to another nonprofit leader's home and a donor had kind of fixed you two up and said, oh, you're both in this. Space. You're both women, you're both leaders. You two should meet. And I love how you wrote about it. It, you talked about this inadequacy and jealousy coming forward for you. And you didn't even really make sense of it at the time, but looking back on it later, you were able to see, oh, inadequacy was there, jealousy was there. And you say it's the kind where you can't even be curious about another person because you're so consumed with what their success is saying about you. And I wonder. What was the story you were telling yourself in that moment about what it was, what her success was saying about you?

Mallory Erickson

Hmm. Yeah. Well, you know, it's so funny with some of those inner narratives because it's not always like you hear them, right? Like, you just feel the resistance, almost like you feel the resistance to, to knowing more or, or even the curiosity to ask questions because you're like, well. They either have it all figured out or you know, they're not really wrestling with this problem, it's just happening for them, right? So I had all these narratives around, you know, both like, I don't even know if it was like, oh, I'm not good at X, but it's more like, why can't I just. Be like, y like why am I, or maybe why am I not as likable as so and so? Or why am I not as, um, fundable as, you know, X? Or what about, you know, how is she so good at, you know, telling stories and why can't I do it that way, or comfortable? I think in her I saw, um, a level of comfort and. And authenticity, and I wrote about this in the newsletter too, that I think I really felt like was inaccessible to me because I felt like. Fundraising and nonprofit leadership was a performance that I couldn't quite perform, right? Mm-hmm. And then I saw this other person who was just seemingly being themselves and everything was going right, but I didn't even know. So it felt like a whole different rules. All different rules, but also not. You know, something that I even knew how to access. I didn't even, even if I thought I could be myself, I don't think at that point in my life I knew how to be myself.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Yeah, that's so beautiful and vulnerable to say. And you know, it reminds me of when I first started fundraising and I did it in a different city, so I moved from Philadelphia. To New Orleans, and so I was learning fundraising at the same time. I was learning about. Sorority culture. I would go to fundraising, um, like just professional development events and there would be women dressed to the nines. And I was like, what is this? I didn't even have a category for this in my brain, let alone in template of how I could do that. I was learning about social aid and pleasure clubs or mar you know, like Mardi Gras cruise and the women, these different networks that were happening together, the private. Schools, the social mapping that takes place of, oh, who's your daddy? You that you went with them and they, okay. Our, our grandparents knew each other and fundraising was happening. In the midst of all that and talk about an outsider story, I was telling myself, I'm not. Cut out to not only just like live here, but to fundraise here. Mm-hmm. It, the stories that we tell ourselves are so powerful, aren't they?

Mallory Erickson

Mm-hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Because they can get us, I could have been doing just fine. I was probably doing just fine, but the story I was telling myself got me closer to backing out the door, you know, energetically than to leaning in, which could have helped me build community.

Mallory Erickson

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, I'm neurodivergent and so there's always this little piece of me that's like, maybe I don't understand. Like there's something happening in these dynamics that I don't completely understand. And um, and so I resonate a lot with what you are sharing about, because I think that there's always. It always feels to me like everybody understands something that I don't completely understand. But, uh, but actually oftentimes the thing that I've found, even in, you know, when I was diagnosed as a kid, um, but one of the things that I've found is that where it feels like. It is when I have those self narratives that I sort of shut down my other capacity for feeling into those moments, right? Like maybe my brain doesn't work exactly the same, but I can really sense how the people around me are doing and feeling I can, you know, there's all these other sort of superpowers that come with neurodiversity also. And when I can get out of the like, oh, I'll never. I'll never understand the social dynamics of this. And I just let myself like be really present and be really connected to the people around me that I don't have to figure out things in my brain in the same way I can lean into these other parts of who I am, um, that help me connect deeply with people. And so it's similar to what you're saying that like it requires though getting out of some of those narratives.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Right. That racket of the story we're telling ourselves, the meaning we're making of it takes up so much bandwidth, doesn't it? Yeah. It takes up the whole stage. And so here we are sitting across from someone who could be really trying to connect with us, whether that's another fundraiser, a donor or board member, and we're just. Freaking out on the inside. Mm-hmm. And telling ourselves how we're doing it wrong. And of course, that person will never be able to live up to the inner racket. So I really believe it is such a superpower to be able to say, oh, hi racket, you're here. That means I really, I really am, am feeling like this situation is important to me. Got it. You're welcome to be here. I'm not gonna give you the whole stage right now. We're gonna, we're gonna move forward and stay present with this person. But it really is so powerful to be able to harness those narratives and to be able to question them rather than taking them as fact.

Mallory Erickson

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Yeah. One of the things that I've been thinking about, and you just named it, is where fundraising meets identity.

Mallory Erickson

Mm,

Erin McQuade-Wright

how much of it is the strategy of what I'm doing and how much of it is this is me? And, uh, I find that I was really, I used that this is me to get more work done. And what I mean is I remembered feeling like no matter how much I raised, it was never gonna be enough. I realized in a big push. Where another source of funding, government funding had cut, been cut, and I needed to make it up with fundraising for my organization. And I was doing this big push and was successful in this big push and realized I had just set my new normal, my new floor for fundraising moving forward. Oops. But it felt like. It kept me working hard to assume that I wasn't doing enough. Really kept me working hard, which I liked, but it dulled the wins and it really amplified the losses, and that cost me a lot in my physical body, and that was a direct result of me making fundraising, like frantic fundraising my identity.

Mallory Erickson

Hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

I wonder if you can relate to that at all.

Mallory Erickson

Hmm. Yeah, I mean, I, it's interesting. I, um, gosh, I think I almost had, in some ways, I'm trying to think about this for a second. I, I definitely think, I don't know if it was tied to. Being a fundraiser, because I think I had some identity. Like I never really considered myself a fundraiser for a long time until my last role, even though I was of course fundraising. But I'm like, I'm an executive director, I'm a managing director. I lead nonprofits. Right? And fundraising was a part of that. And then it wasn't until my last role where I really, really was solely focused on on fundraising that that kind of became a part of my identity. But I think it is so hard to. When what you're fundraising for or what you're working towards feels so tied to who you are and what you care about and your morals and your orientation to the world. And even today in the work that I do, like, you know, people are always like, oh, you know. Deciding between to do this and your kids, you know, I have two little kids and I'm like deciding between, what are you talking about? Like, what I do in my work is for my children, like is because I believe this is how I help build the world that I want them to live in. Like none of that is a separate part of me. Um, but then to your point, like where's the line that allows you to, um, to. To create enough space that it doesn't, um, that you can like at least compartmentalize some of the strategies or goals or outcomes relPractivated to things so that it doesn't, it doesn't burn you out because it feels like everything about who you are.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Yeah, I think so many of us have. That burnout feeling exactly as you describe and, and that when it tips over into identity and we can't create that space, it's like a real danger zone. And I find that when I work with clients, it it specifically when I work with fundraisers, if they grew up with the story of unworthiness about how they got their needs met by. Not having needs. Right? If they got, if they got love and affection and, and attention from not having needs of their own, but focusing on the needs of others, gosh, I just feel like it fits like a hand in glove with a fundraising career, and that certainly was the case for me. And nothing wrong with that. No judgment about that. Mm. Just, wow, you've got lightning in a bottle right there. Mm-hmm. There's a potential for it to tip really easily before you even know it. To this donor's, yes or no means everything about me.

Mallory Erickson

Mm-hmm. And.

Erin McQuade-Wright

We are really not bringing our best to our organization, whether we're executive director, whether we're a board member, whether we're a fundraiser, if we have that much buy-in. I mean, we talk about having passion for the mission and how important that is, but I. I think one of the reasons why we have such a high turnover rate in fundraising well beyond any other normal career or, or, or leadership in fund rate, in nonprofit jobs in general, you know, 16 to 24 months before you're out the door fundraising for another organization is because we've got. So, such high expectations on that person. Mm-hmm. That we've got that person. Um, if they believe those high expectations fully, and I was like, yes, I'm here for it. Put all the burden on me, um, then, then we can really believe. The, the trance, the entrancing thought that if I do well, I'm great, and if I do terribly, I'm terrible. Mm-hmm. Is that something that you run up against in your work with your clients? I wonder?

Mallory Erickson

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think that, um. Both because of maybe beliefs that we hold about ourselves and you know, historically. And also maybe because I think sometimes the dynamic inside organizations reinforces that. Like I think that, you know, fundraising is so hard because, for so many reasons, but I feel like from a management perspective or a. Um, or even that kind of like evaluation around how we're doing perspective. It's, you know, we're trying to measure this tremendously human activity with these linear or, um, or I don't know, with like conversion metrics, you know, we're like, and, and we're trying to, um. Get information about the strength of a relationship based on lagging indicators that don't tell us a, a story, but those lagging indicators are what puts all this pressure on the fundraisers to be like, you are good or you are bad, or, but then it actually is missing the whole story. Right. We're kind of like losing the plot in it. Um, so I mean, I, and I, I see how it's tied obviously to a lot of, or the, the. Way that those metrics can make us feel, can be exacerbPractivated by beliefs that we hold about ourselves. That can come from like some of those, you know. Like, I'm not worthy stories when I fir, I first worked with a coach when I was 20, 22 and, um, you know, her work with me led to like my initial gremlin belief, which was, or the one that I like un uncovered first, which was, you know, I'm not. And all of the different layers of not enoughness, you know, I'm not smart enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not, funny enough, I'm not whatever, all of the different things and then my overdrive to try to compensate for this feeling of not enoughness. So I, yeah, I mean, I resonate with everything that you are saying, both personally. I see it play out with clients, you know, all the time, and I think it's just a really big like. Like jumbled up experience in fundraising to start to parse out because meanwhile, you're sort of, you know, asking people to be vulnerable and connected and authentic like their real selves, right? But then also start to create some, um, separation between, between components of who they are as well.

Erin McQuade-Wright

It's challenging. Yeah, it's a real doozy. And what I think we can really, um, only control is how we hold what happens in life. And that's all of life, right? We can only control how we hold that and tend to what's coming up for us. And I actually believe that what. Is happening on the fundraising scene or at home is a mirror for us that we can use to heal that old dunk that needs to be cleared from the root, like the, like my word, I use the Enneagram in my coaching practice, and so an Enneagram two might say my worthiness comes directly from the amount of work that I do and how, how I'm tending to others well, is that. Actually true.

Mallory Erickson

Hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

You get to be, does your worthiness come from you being embodied here on earth right now? Like

Mallory Erickson

mm-hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Separate and apart from any of your work? So, I agree with you that the, the circumstances of how we are seen as professionals in the workplace is, and what those expectations are is accounts for a lot and mm-hmm. What if we tend to, the only thing that we have control over, which is our own nervous system and the stories we tell ourselves, and I know you work in that realm as well. And I'd like to hear from you, you know, on a really practical sense, what does dysregulation in your nervous system feel like?

Mallory Erickson

Hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

In your body, like before an important conversation, how do you recognize it?

Mallory Erickson

Hmm. Well, I actually think, you know, one of the things that's really interesting to me about nervous system dysregulation is that it can look a bunch of different ways. And so it can be such a little. Sneaky, sneaky, uh, friend. But you know, sometimes I'll feel it like tension in my belly, right? I'll be like, oh, I have a stomach ache. And I notice this with my kids too, you know, like my daughter's nervous about something and she's like, oh, I have a stomach ache. I think I'm sick. And I'm like, I can tell. I'm like, yeah, you, this is stress. You know? Um, so sometimes I'll notice it as tightness in my belly. Sometimes I'll notice it as sort of like tightness in my hips or my shoulders. Sometimes I will, my eye will be fluttering and I'll know that that's, you know, why I'm dysregulPractivated. Sometimes I can feel it in my chest. I'm like, oh, I feel anxious right now. I feel nervous about this right now. So I think there, you know, or I'll get a headache. Like there's just so many different ways that I, I'm very sensitive and my body is always the tell. Um, and so. I, I also have, um, something called Raynaud's Disease, which is like a circulation issue. And, um, so like my fingertips will turn white or, and my toes and it's like blood can't get there. And there's a lot of, there's a lot of things that can trigger an episode, but definitely. Dysregulation is one of them because it sort of is like a sign that my body's tense and it's not letting all the blood through. So I, I only give all those examples to say for folks who are maybe gonna start trying to listen to the, to the wisdom of their body, that it can take a lot of different forms and it's not always the same every time for you either. And I think that is one of the reasons why I'll hear people say like, well, I'm not stressed right now, you know, and so I don't. Uh, because they aren't feeling their stress, maybe in the same way that they always, they more typically do when they're maybe scattered, anxious, like more in that flight anxiety mode. They're like, oh, I don't feel stress right now, but they're really entering freeze and they're, and so it's a different type of dysregulation or, oh, I'm not stressed, but I'm really angry at. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? And maybe you're in fight mode. And so that's a different type of dysregulation. So I think helping people understand that, like there's a real spectrum, um, to it, and I feel all of those things.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Yeah. Beautiful. If someone is, let's say there's a fundraiser listening right now, and they're sitting in their car and they're about to go in and talk with a donor and they're feeling discombobulPractivated, what would you have them do? What's your message to them?

Mallory Erickson

Yeah, so I think just like there's a lot of ways we can feel dysregulPractivated. There's a lot of ways to come back to a more regulPractivated state, and there's two sort of categories that I would share to start, right. One is downregulation and one is upregulation. So sometimes you're sitting in that car to go into that meeting and like taking a really deep breath in through your nose and then out through your mouth. Starts to feel good to your body, like try that three times. Close your eyes, put your hands on your belly, breathe in through your nose for five. Really making sure that your belly is expanding as you breathe in. A deep breath in your chest is actually still an anxious breath, so you really have to get that that belly breath in. And then see like, does that work? How does that feel? Are you coming back into your body? You know, there's this great, I always forget the exact, um, the exact instructions, but like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is like where you say five things you can see four things you can hear three things you can touch, right? And all of it's designed to bring you into the present, like to bring you back into your body. So that's a great one. My, um, kids love butterfly hugs, which are like bilateral tapping on your arms, so that's a great one. And then if you're in a meeting and you're feeling that dysregulation, planting both your feet on the ground and winding your consciousness around each foot, really paying attention to like its solid planting on the ground, you know, that can be a great thing. Even mid meeting if you're feeling yourself getting sort of PractivPractivatedd. And the last thing I'll say is if you try those things and you're like, that makes me want to like crawl out of my body, like I'm even more anxious, then what you might need is upregulation, which means maybe you need to listen to your favorite music and dance in your car before you walk in there. Or maybe you need to go for a little walk around the block or something to actually get the juices flowing. Sometimes we actually need to upregulate in order to quote unquote calm down. So I just encourage people to like play with it and listen and notice what happens in your body when you try different things.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Yeah, you're the expert in your own body, but you have to be able, be willing to take a look and see the effect that something like, you know, a few deep breaths. Uh, I like to do the exhale longer than the inhale. Mm-hmm. You know, what that does for your body. Mm-hmm. To be able to, to, I think my. I had an old belief that if I was feeling uncomfortable, it was a real kindness to myself to not feel that. And so I would distract with myself. I would, I wouldn't even realize I was doing it, but I would sing out loud. I would just like, like Ethel Merman a moment, like bust out with a show tune and my husband wouldn't be nearby. Sometimes he'd be like, what was that all about? And I'd be like, I don't know. It just came to my head and then I was like, actually, I did it a few more times. I was like, what is that? I was like, oh, I was trying not to feel something.

Mallory Erickson

Hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

And it was so sneaky, like you said, it's kind of a slippery fish of just showing up in, uh, in, you know, in a way that I didn't know to look for at the time, and that that's a, that's a clue from the body that I was trying to avoid. Feeling something and really being able to have the tools to feel your feelings.

Mallory Erickson

Mm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Is more and more as I live, I'm, I'm like, oh gosh, this is the key to everything.

Mallory Erickson

Mm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Because it releases, it stranglehold on us when we can actually just feel it and give up our attention. Mm. When we know how to do that.

Mallory Erickson

Hmm.

Erin McQuade-Wright

So, uh, here's my last question for you. I, I wonder if you. What do you think about the idea that some people are unconsciously attached to the stress of fundraising?

Mallory Erickson

Hmm. Well, a

Erin McQuade-Wright

big sigh

Mallory Erickson

I'll say. I'll say this isn't something that I've studied, so I feel a little hesitant to like. Like, so I want to, I guess, say that I'm not speaking to this with any scientific background, like I have other parts of, of things that we've talked about, but I mean, I think it makes sense to me that that would be the case because I, I definitely think, you know, when we've sort. Become comfortable in a stress state. Like we, it becomes really uncomfortable to, to change our pace and we are uncomfortable in the quiet. We are uncomfortable in the pause. We, and, and so I think, you know, that process of learning, you know. How your body oscillates between your parasympathetic nervous system and your sympathetic nervous system and having more opportunities for rest and digest and you know, it's complicPractivated. There's a lot of like interconnected layers I think, that create a attachment to stress like trauma or for me. Um, like my A DHD makes me, makes speed. I love going fast, like I actually love it. Mm-hmm. But sometimes that means that I will get stressed and I, I always kind of joke that I'm the cart and the horse, you know, and I'm just constantly like, whoa, Mallory, like, don't go that fast. Right. Or that my, like, excitement is bigger than my energy, you know, like, because I will get to. So excited about something and I genuinely want to go really fast, but then I'm sort of like, oh, wait, like I am 40 and have two small kids, and like, maybe I can't do all of these things. And then I'm stressed about it because I committed to all of them because I thought it was gonna be really fun. Right. And so, and that I think is less like feeling attached to the stress and maybe more having. Um, unconscious routines that I struggle to break or other people struggle to break for whatever reason. And, um, and you know, like for me, one of the things that I do now is like, give myself permission to change my mind. Like, I'm like, okay, I know that I'm gonna get excited and wanna do a whole big thing, and then I'm gonna realize that it's too big of a thing and then I'm allowed to change my mind, right? Because I don't wanna be, um. I don't wanna be stressed out all the time, but I also know that I'm not always a good gauge at what will create stress for me and down the line. And so that's okay. Like that's who I am and I'm, and then I give myself grace and permission to change my mind. So I think there's all, I think reflecting on. Our discomfort not being stressed. Our discomfort not moving a mile a minute. Our discomfort not always Being in an PractivPractivatedd state is really important and really uncomfortable to do. Really uncomfortable to do. And I think it's a place, you know, you mentioned something before. We were like, it felt like I might die. Like I actually think this prompt that you're giving is what makes a lot of people feel like they might die.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Slowing down.

Mallory Erickson

They're like, yeah. They're like, if I stop, I might die. Like if I stop, I might die. Yeah. Um, and so I think like I just sort of gently say to anybody listening, like, just get curious, you know, like, and maybe answer the question like, if I'm not, if I'm not doing so much, I'm worried that if I don't do so much, then. And like kind of what's the answer to that? You know, like I remember like those types of prompts or are, you know, I better move this quickly or else, you know, I better take on this much. Or else like once you can start to have some honest conversations with yourself. With those types of questions, I think you can start to peel away the layers and build up some of the, the, the resilience to sit in the discomfort of, of more slowness.

Erin McQuade-Wright

Beautiful. Well, thank you Mallory Erickson for being here today. Thank you for what you do. You are a light in this world, and I know so many people are learning to be kinder to themselves and work more strategically because of what you teach. So I wanna thank you for everything that you do, and thanks for being with us today.

Mallory Erickson

Oh, thank you. Thank you for what you're doing and the space you're creating here, and the message that you're sending to folks, so I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 4

Okay, here are your takeaways from this conversation. First, notice the story, not just the situation, that inner narrative. I'm not enough. They have it figured out or this has to work, is shaping your experience more than what's actually happening. Second, your nervous system is always communicating. Whether it shows up as tension, distraction, or even, I'm fine. Your body is giving you information. Learning to listen changes everything. Third regulation is a skill. Breathing, grounding movement. These aren't small tools. They're how you come back to yourself in the moments that matter most. Fourth, fundraising is not your identity. I'm gonna say that one again. Fundraising is not your identity. When a yes or no starts to define your worth, you're carrying more than your role requires, and it will cost you. And finally, if slowing down feels uncomfortable, get curious. That discomfort is often where the real work begins. If this episode resonated with you, share it with another fundraiser who might need to hear it, and I'll see you next time.